A Different Breed

The typical high school student usually leaves their school as soon as the bell rings through their ears. They snatch their car keys from their backpack, and drive away from what's  held them hostage in their seats for the past 8 hours.
But we aren't your average high school students, we are a different breed.
 We are the ones with water bottles in hand as we walk in the school each day. We wear KT tape under our clothes, because we don't want to have to reapply it the next day. We make Nike clothing a fashion statement. We are the kids who beg their teachers for the hall pass because we drank too much water. The ones who wait for the bell to ring, because we're one step closer to lacing up our shoes.

We are the high school cross country team.

At first glance from other varsity sports teams, we are looked at as "the crazy bunch". The ones who find enjoyment in running multiple miles, when running is the punishment for most. But we look at it differently.

We believe that the time your foot strikes the ground for the first time, we are embarking a new adventure. We are blazing through a new trail, finding different paths that take us to beautiful destinations. We are the risk takers, adventure seekers, and hard workers. We push past our pain to PR by ten seconds.We are becoming the next generation of runners.

We accept that blisters may appear after removing our shoes. That chaffing is second nature. We realize that getting up the stairs the day after a workout can be a true struggle.

High school is a place of finding yourself,  taking what you love and running with it. For some this may be art, some it will be football. As young distance runners, we all have something in common. We find happiness in running, for running is what we love to do. Running is a teenage dream that never expires. While our paths may change when our diplomas touch our hands, but we will always have running close in our hearts.
We will never rid of the countless number of race bibs, and we will keep our shoes where we can find them.

Because we are a different breed, and we were born to run.

BLESSED WITH THE BEST

So lately I have seen so many break-ups, friends pulling away from each other, and even family members growing farther apart. Often times it reminds me to reflect back on how good I have it.

For my mom and dad, and that even though I can cause them so much hardship they still bear with me.

For my big sister, who has a different path than I do and even though we tend to clash here and there she still loves me.

For my little sister, who takes all the crap I may give her and ends the day with a smile.

For my brother, who has three sisters to live up too and does his best to keep up.

For the 16 months I have been given with my best friend, most high school relationships only last an average of 2-4 months but I am grateful that ours is a little bit different.

I have learned that through all these fights, all these little arguments, the stupid things we disagree on, we become stronger. I can not tell you how many times I wanted to just "run" away from my family because I was angry. The times where I told Kaden I didn't think our relationship was going to work. But the real question is, when is anything going to work out the way you want it too?

Did I realize that without these stupid disagreements I wouldn't have become the person I have become? I know that I have been dealt the cards I got for a reason, because I wouldn't have the family I have now. I know that there was a reason that Kaden came into my life, and he's changed it for the better.

I have accepted the fact that my life is so far from perfect I wonder why I exist at times. Not only am I imperfect, but there is always going be something about the people you love that you don't like about them. I might argue with my parents about stupid little things, but I can tell you right now I couldn't ask for better parents. That with along with all their flaws they might have, they weren't meant to be my parents. That they are the driving force in my life that keep me going when I need it most. Just because they aren't the perfect parents doesn't mean I don't love them to death.

I have learned that Prince Charming doesn't always look like a prince, but running shoes and shorts look better than a suit and tie. I found someone who brings an unconditional happiness into my life. A happiness that no one could replace. No he's not perfect, but nor am I. Just because he's not perfect doesn't mean I don't love him to death.

We are given a set of cards the day we enter the world. Some of those cards are bent in a certain way, some are even ripped down the middle. Some of them you find out of nowhere while playing the game. We might have to tape some of these cards back together, or bend them in the other direction. But we can still play the game with every card were given. 

These cards may be imperfect, but without them I will never be able to win the game.

I HAVE LOVED ALL MY CARDS SINCE THE DAY I WAS GIVEN THEM, AND I WILL NEVER TRADE THEM TO HELP ME WIN THE GAME.

There's This Kid Named Kaden

To the one who won't give my heart back,

"I don't want to run anymore," the words that echoed in my head over and over again as I watched you talk to the  man in the Aggie polo. The long nights of tears never leave my mind when I see you run on the track. When  you sat at the Footlocker finish line to watch me finish, with no spikes on your feet.

There are very few people in this world that can consider themselves "lucky" in this world, and I am happy to say that I am one of them. All those adults who say that high school relationships don't know what true love is about, their right. To me, it's not about finding a man that I fall in love with, but the man that has so much about him to love. But you know what? Love doesn't compare to happiness and I know what its like to be happy, I know what it's like to find so much happiness in one person that you can't get enough of them. Those adults are right, because you can fall in love with someone and not be happy.While walking the halls of Fremont High with my best friend at my side, I have gotten the same question asked three times "Are you two brother and sister?" Trying to back a giggle, I reply with a "No, this is my boyfriend." You may ask why this is? Apparently we don't walk the halls hand in hand, we don't kiss at school, and a he only gets one hug before he goes home. An occasional punch in the arm and a "don't be late to class" is our way of communication.I don't need kissing, hand-holding, and hugging to be happy, because HE makes me happy. The way the coaches kids come and tap him on the shoulder. The smile he brings my sister when she sees she has a new text from him.I always told everyone I knew that I was never going to get married til I was forty, I told them I wasn't having kids. I told them kissing was disgusting. But now I tell them, "There's this kid named Kaden."

There's this kid named Kaden, and he looked at me at practice today and my heart rate increased rapidly. I think it was an accident but I still looked right back at him.

There's this kid named Kaden and he gave me a high five after city county. I didn't even think he noticed me?

There's this kid named Kaden and he just started texting me, but I don't know what to think of him.

"There's this kid named Kaden, mom, and I want to hang out with him. Can he come over this Saturday?"

There's this kid named Kaden and he ran the warm-up with me today, and that was the fastest warm-up  I have ever ran.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he's going to Footlocker with me.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he just asked me to Prom.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he has cheered for me every race now, and it makes me run faster.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he just took seventh at state.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he just signed with UtahState, and he's going to run on there college team.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he is my happiness.

Saying that I am going to miss the kid named Kaden when he goes to college would be an understatement. I will have to look a little harder to find happiness. But I remind myself that I am the "lucky one" that his legacy will never fade. I have to remind myself that I will still live if I run the warm up without him.

Logan is gaining one great kid, treat him well, keep the girls away from him. Make sure to stretch his legs after practice or he will be sore the next day. Make sure he takes a shower, or you won't be able to breathe the next day. Make sure that he wears his seat belt. Make sure his room is clean. And make sure that he doesn't forget there's a girl at home, that loves him.


"And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong."

"Don't Be Late To Class Kaden" (:

pərfikt

When getting out of bed to face the next day, is a struggle. When you feel as if the head your trying to hold higher keeps getting heavier. When your anchored down in the middle of the ocean with no life jacket.

I have learned lately that there are time periods in our life, when we feel as if we can't be more miserable. We keep reminding ourselves how much we hate someone, and how they are the reason why we are upset.

We weren't given this life for everything to be handed to us, for everything to turn out the way we want it and dissapointment only lasts as long as we decide it to. Even though there are times my life seems miserable, I am grateful for for the majority of it that is perfect.

I am grateful for my mom, and her ways of reaching out to those who need it. I am grateful for my dad, who never forgets to remind me to just smile and live in the moment. I am grateful for Ethan, who taught me that appearance doesn't determine your strength. I am greatful for Hannah for teaching me that little acts of kindness mean more. I am greatful for Katie, for teaching me that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. For Kaden, who taught me what it's like to turn my trials into determination for the next mountain to climb.

I am thankful that my dad is still here. That God allowed me to keep my brother here. That my life isn't perfect, but there are so many perfect details in it. There are moments that I wouldn't trade for the world. That I am happy.

That I wouldn't trade my life for anyone elses, because of the happiness it brings me. That the negatives will never add up to my positives. There is so much to find happiness in.

I love life, and I am never looking back and I am never looking forward, because it is perfect right now. I am happy. That everyday is an adventure and I am buckling down for the ride. That even though I might get scared going down, I should just throw both hands up and embrace the moment, because I am grateful I got to ride. That even though I didn't get the time I wanted, I still got two legs. That we are never far from happiness, unless we tell ourselves reasons we have to be unhappy.

Essays

I believe when we are born, we begin essays. Like those essays you write in your 11th grade English class every week, but a lot longer. Of course when a baby is born, it is of greater importance than a typed paper. But they begin and end in the same format.

When we begin to write our essay the only thing we are sure of is our name and what "class" we are in, along with who our "teachers" are.  As soon as you take your first breath, facts show that you know who your mom and your dad are the second you hear their voice, and at that time they give you the only identification you have, your name. Then comes that time period where your not sure how to begin your essay yet and you start to develop ideas as you begin brainstorming.

You gain a thesis statement as you get bigger, although this sometimes changes as you gain more evidence. When you get out of the newborn stage your parents start to see a personality in you, whether your laid back, you like to scream when you want something, or even that your stomach doesn't hold much down. As we continue to grow, we gain more and more research about ourselves. We find better ways of wording things, and we gain a better vocabulary.

After major time periods in our lives we gain a paragraphs. We have a paragraph for when we get married, for our high school stories, and for our first child. There are also times when our paragraphs don't fit in our story resulting in  them being removed from your essay. Like that boyfriend you had that you thought you were going to marry, that turned out to be a jerk in the end. We have time periods in our life when we try so hard to cut out a paragraph, but it's shaped the paper somehow, so we keep it in anyways. When you lose the people you love the most, you have to keep in paragraphs because they made you who you are, even when you wanted to move on.

If we take out one of these paragraphs, we realize that our story wouldn't be the same without them. They shape us in incomparable ways. We go through reviewing our story every time we add in new paragraphs. We look back on the old paragraphs and find happiness in them, even though we aren't still writing them. In the end, we come to a conclusion. The part of the essay that no one enjoys writing. Most writers throw all their past paragraphs into a summary, and that's how they conclude their story. They take what they learned about the essay, and make it their last sentence.

And when your teacher reads over your paper, when all is said and done, they don't remember just your conclusion. They remember the paragraphs leading up to it. They remember the strong details that compelled them.The sentences that brought smiles to their faces, and the parts that they had to read again for extra emphasis.

Write your essay in a way that your teacher would give you an A+.

I believe that the twins were a paragraph in my life, that Ryan and Kennedy's deaths were a paragraph, and Grandpa was one. I am typing the Kaden and Cross Country paragraph right now.


Some Details in My Current Paragraph:

Dear Grandpa Jim

I know your probably up there in heaven having a good old time with your mom and your sister, but down here we sure are missing you.

I want to thank you...for all that you have given me. For my amazing Grandma and Grandma Nessa, for a great aunt and uncle, and last but not least a mother that means the world to me. I believe that there is a lesson for all of us on why things happen when they do. I know that I want to be able to tell you "I love you" one last time, I wanted to go steal some Oreos from your fridge one last time, I wanted to ask you to fill up my bike tire one last time, even steal a coke for Grandma Nessa from the machine. A lot of times lately, I think our family has constantly asked, "Why does this happen to us?" Why did we get all these hardships thrown at us all at once?
I know there is a God,  and he loves each and every one of us with unconditional love. Part of this love sometimes are experiences we never want to go through. These experiences define us, and make us grow. Even though you leaving was by no means a positive experience, I believe it was meant to bring our family closer than I ever thought we could be. And in the end, each and everyone of us will get to be with you again someday.
There is a lot of time I spend in my life thinking about God. Everyone's trying to tell me that they think their religion is the only way that we can be together in heaven. I beg to disagree to all religions that say this. I believe that God would be proud of all the pathways we have found to get closer to him, whether you wear beautiful dresses to church, you wear Levi's, or even a turban on your head. Whether you read the bible three times a day, or three times a year. We have different ways of expressing our love to God. And your way was through the people you loved.
You've taught me a lesson Grandpa, we don't have to go to church every Sunday or read the scriptures to go to heaven, because I know your their now. Every day you put smiles on the seven kids that loved you most. You brought in a part of family that I don't think I could live without. You gave me childhood friendships that I still have
from birth to this day. You gave me three more aunts that I couldn't love more. In this process you kept us together as a family.
I know you've probably met God up there, and he is proud of you for being such a great man to the people that mean most to you. You left a place in my heart that will never fade. I will never ever get sick of "Grandma Nessa's House." When our fridge breaks down, I am going to remember you. Running across the catwalk will still be an adventure, and when we make the semi's honk their horns, I know that you will hear them from up there.

Thanks for bringing me here Grandpa, I Love You, and hope to see ya later.

Love your, Oreo Lovin',Bike Ridin',Top Ramen Eatin' Grandaughter

Race to the Finish

     This week and most of last week I have experienced and helped out (he knows who he is) with some pretty rough situations. I think there are always times in our life that force us to look up to the sky and ask "why me". Mentally, this has been something I have often wondered lately. "Why would God put us on this earth to struggle, why does he make life so hard on us sometimes when life is supposed to be a gift?" This thought surges throughout minds everyday, because there is always someone on this planet who is struggling to find a meaning in life.
      Our meaning in life is to finish our races and begin new ones.
     There is always that someone in that race that forgets to tie their shoe and feels the burn from their small mistake as they fall to the ground. Even some of the most advanced runners still forget that they can't wear their  brand new shoes to race the next day, as they  suffer the consequences of painful blisters along their toes. That Mexican food that your mom made last night, that doesn't sit well trying to finish a race. And there's always that jerk at the starting line that thinks he owns the road and tries to prod people out of his way, which can cause a domino effect of racers crumbling to the asphalt.
      It's how these incidents are dealt with that determines how we finish our race. Some fall at the beginning of the race, some at the middle, some fall right before the finish line. But it's not about how hard we fall, nor is it about "who saw us fall", it doesn't even matter where we fall. What determines our standing is how we recover. How much faster can you get up, and chase down the person in front of you. At times we fall, we break down in tears, we tell ourselves we can't do it. All this time we spend on the ground, do we realize the clock is still running?
     I ran a race today, and as I was coming up on my second mile, I watched one of my opponents step in a hole. It was a pretty decent sized hole, causing her ankle to roll one way, then roll again the other, resulting in a pretty painful injury. Her facial expressions went straight to pain, she tensed up, and she looked like she was about to cry. But one thing didn't change about the girl after she stepped in the hole, was she was still moving.
     Her steps became smaller and smaller as I began to catch up, but she didn't stop. Even if she slowed down to walking speed, she didn't stop. With every step we take, may it be a small step or a leap, we are moving forward. Moving forward is more beneficial than sitting still. With each step our finish line becomes closer it may take us longer to get there, but we will get there eventually if we keep taking steps. When we reach trials in our life, it's so easy to say "I am done, I wanna go home, I don't want to do this, why is this happening." Every time we fall, we get up stronger than we were before. God only puts these trials here to make us strong. He knows what we can endure, so he puts us to the test. A test no one wants to fail. When we fall, we can sit on the ground pouting and stewing about how much we hate life. Or we can stand up fast, shake it off and get that adrenaline pumping again.
   

We are not perfect, everyone falls sometime in their life, but don't be the person that stays down, be the one that stands up stronger and finishes the race.

Because our team got third the other day, it was a happy day for this chick.