As soon as we push out the boat, the four of us kids sit on the edge dipping our toes in to see if its cold. Some of us throwing on our wet suits (*cough* Katie and Ethan).
My dad will get us out in the middle of the lake and then yell "who's in first?" We all look at one another and play this game of "Ethan you go first, Jerra you go first" as we stand on the edge of the boat peering into the ice water.
It takes about 10 minutes for one of us to jump in first, but quickly we all follow suit afterwards.
As the season goes on, the shorter the time it takes for us to jump in. It goes from 10 minutes, to 7 minutes, to 5, to jumping out of the boat before the engine is even turned off.
As I sat in 10 degree weather this morning waiting for the bus to come, I couldn't help but think of boating. How so badly I wanted to be on a freaking boat instead of freezing like a popsicle.
But as that thought was passing, another one was running parallel to it.
Opening up my heart again.
I'm scared out of my mind that I am going to continue to get hurt the more I do it.
I'm scared out of my mind that I am going to continue to get hurt the more I do it.
So you know me,
I had to make a comparison of the both of these thoughts.
Instantly I could see how my heart easily compared to the way the 4 of us are afraid of the cold water.
Recently I got to the point where I didn't think I could handle ever opening up myself to anyone...ever again.
Here I am, standing on the edge of the boat, slowly dipping in my toes and its cold. That fear comes on just by dipping my toe in. It all comes flooding back. "What if I get hurt again? Am I sure about this?" It's hard to jump in when you know what the water may feel like.
I look back at my family and maybe some friends, and they all tell me to jump...but I am scared.
After 10 minutes of telling myself it will be okay, (aka much longer in reality) I gain the courage to jump. I panic as the cold water hits hard...but I come right back up. And I realize it wasn't so bad after all.
It gets easier and easier every time you jump. You jump off quicker and quicker until it's just second nature.
So don't let the cold water scare you from opening up.
I look back at my family and maybe some friends, and they all tell me to jump...but I am scared.
After 10 minutes of telling myself it will be okay, (aka much longer in reality) I gain the courage to jump. I panic as the cold water hits hard...but I come right back up. And I realize it wasn't so bad after all.
It gets easier and easier every time you jump. You jump off quicker and quicker until it's just second nature.
So don't let the cold water scare you from opening up.
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| Oldie but a Goodie |
