There's This Kid Named Kaden

To the one who won't give my heart back,

"I don't want to run anymore," the words that echoed in my head over and over again as I watched you talk to the  man in the Aggie polo. The long nights of tears never leave my mind when I see you run on the track. When  you sat at the Footlocker finish line to watch me finish, with no spikes on your feet.

There are very few people in this world that can consider themselves "lucky" in this world, and I am happy to say that I am one of them. All those adults who say that high school relationships don't know what true love is about, their right. To me, it's not about finding a man that I fall in love with, but the man that has so much about him to love. But you know what? Love doesn't compare to happiness and I know what its like to be happy, I know what it's like to find so much happiness in one person that you can't get enough of them. Those adults are right, because you can fall in love with someone and not be happy.While walking the halls of Fremont High with my best friend at my side, I have gotten the same question asked three times "Are you two brother and sister?" Trying to back a giggle, I reply with a "No, this is my boyfriend." You may ask why this is? Apparently we don't walk the halls hand in hand, we don't kiss at school, and a he only gets one hug before he goes home. An occasional punch in the arm and a "don't be late to class" is our way of communication.I don't need kissing, hand-holding, and hugging to be happy, because HE makes me happy. The way the coaches kids come and tap him on the shoulder. The smile he brings my sister when she sees she has a new text from him.I always told everyone I knew that I was never going to get married til I was forty, I told them I wasn't having kids. I told them kissing was disgusting. But now I tell them, "There's this kid named Kaden."

There's this kid named Kaden, and he looked at me at practice today and my heart rate increased rapidly. I think it was an accident but I still looked right back at him.

There's this kid named Kaden and he gave me a high five after city county. I didn't even think he noticed me?

There's this kid named Kaden and he just started texting me, but I don't know what to think of him.

"There's this kid named Kaden, mom, and I want to hang out with him. Can he come over this Saturday?"

There's this kid named Kaden and he ran the warm-up with me today, and that was the fastest warm-up  I have ever ran.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he's going to Footlocker with me.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he just asked me to Prom.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he has cheered for me every race now, and it makes me run faster.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he just took seventh at state.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he just signed with UtahState, and he's going to run on there college team.

There's this kid named Kaden, and he is my happiness.

Saying that I am going to miss the kid named Kaden when he goes to college would be an understatement. I will have to look a little harder to find happiness. But I remind myself that I am the "lucky one" that his legacy will never fade. I have to remind myself that I will still live if I run the warm up without him.

Logan is gaining one great kid, treat him well, keep the girls away from him. Make sure to stretch his legs after practice or he will be sore the next day. Make sure he takes a shower, or you won't be able to breathe the next day. Make sure that he wears his seat belt. Make sure his room is clean. And make sure that he doesn't forget there's a girl at home, that loves him.


"And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong."

"Don't Be Late To Class Kaden" (:

pərfikt

When getting out of bed to face the next day, is a struggle. When you feel as if the head your trying to hold higher keeps getting heavier. When your anchored down in the middle of the ocean with no life jacket.

I have learned lately that there are time periods in our life, when we feel as if we can't be more miserable. We keep reminding ourselves how much we hate someone, and how they are the reason why we are upset.

We weren't given this life for everything to be handed to us, for everything to turn out the way we want it and dissapointment only lasts as long as we decide it to. Even though there are times my life seems miserable, I am grateful for for the majority of it that is perfect.

I am grateful for my mom, and her ways of reaching out to those who need it. I am grateful for my dad, who never forgets to remind me to just smile and live in the moment. I am grateful for Ethan, who taught me that appearance doesn't determine your strength. I am greatful for Hannah for teaching me that little acts of kindness mean more. I am greatful for Katie, for teaching me that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. For Kaden, who taught me what it's like to turn my trials into determination for the next mountain to climb.

I am thankful that my dad is still here. That God allowed me to keep my brother here. That my life isn't perfect, but there are so many perfect details in it. There are moments that I wouldn't trade for the world. That I am happy.

That I wouldn't trade my life for anyone elses, because of the happiness it brings me. That the negatives will never add up to my positives. There is so much to find happiness in.

I love life, and I am never looking back and I am never looking forward, because it is perfect right now. I am happy. That everyday is an adventure and I am buckling down for the ride. That even though I might get scared going down, I should just throw both hands up and embrace the moment, because I am grateful I got to ride. That even though I didn't get the time I wanted, I still got two legs. That we are never far from happiness, unless we tell ourselves reasons we have to be unhappy.

Essays

I believe when we are born, we begin essays. Like those essays you write in your 11th grade English class every week, but a lot longer. Of course when a baby is born, it is of greater importance than a typed paper. But they begin and end in the same format.

When we begin to write our essay the only thing we are sure of is our name and what "class" we are in, along with who our "teachers" are.  As soon as you take your first breath, facts show that you know who your mom and your dad are the second you hear their voice, and at that time they give you the only identification you have, your name. Then comes that time period where your not sure how to begin your essay yet and you start to develop ideas as you begin brainstorming.

You gain a thesis statement as you get bigger, although this sometimes changes as you gain more evidence. When you get out of the newborn stage your parents start to see a personality in you, whether your laid back, you like to scream when you want something, or even that your stomach doesn't hold much down. As we continue to grow, we gain more and more research about ourselves. We find better ways of wording things, and we gain a better vocabulary.

After major time periods in our lives we gain a paragraphs. We have a paragraph for when we get married, for our high school stories, and for our first child. There are also times when our paragraphs don't fit in our story resulting in  them being removed from your essay. Like that boyfriend you had that you thought you were going to marry, that turned out to be a jerk in the end. We have time periods in our life when we try so hard to cut out a paragraph, but it's shaped the paper somehow, so we keep it in anyways. When you lose the people you love the most, you have to keep in paragraphs because they made you who you are, even when you wanted to move on.

If we take out one of these paragraphs, we realize that our story wouldn't be the same without them. They shape us in incomparable ways. We go through reviewing our story every time we add in new paragraphs. We look back on the old paragraphs and find happiness in them, even though we aren't still writing them. In the end, we come to a conclusion. The part of the essay that no one enjoys writing. Most writers throw all their past paragraphs into a summary, and that's how they conclude their story. They take what they learned about the essay, and make it their last sentence.

And when your teacher reads over your paper, when all is said and done, they don't remember just your conclusion. They remember the paragraphs leading up to it. They remember the strong details that compelled them.The sentences that brought smiles to their faces, and the parts that they had to read again for extra emphasis.

Write your essay in a way that your teacher would give you an A+.

I believe that the twins were a paragraph in my life, that Ryan and Kennedy's deaths were a paragraph, and Grandpa was one. I am typing the Kaden and Cross Country paragraph right now.


Some Details in My Current Paragraph:

Dear Grandpa Jim

I know your probably up there in heaven having a good old time with your mom and your sister, but down here we sure are missing you.

I want to thank you...for all that you have given me. For my amazing Grandma and Grandma Nessa, for a great aunt and uncle, and last but not least a mother that means the world to me. I believe that there is a lesson for all of us on why things happen when they do. I know that I want to be able to tell you "I love you" one last time, I wanted to go steal some Oreos from your fridge one last time, I wanted to ask you to fill up my bike tire one last time, even steal a coke for Grandma Nessa from the machine. A lot of times lately, I think our family has constantly asked, "Why does this happen to us?" Why did we get all these hardships thrown at us all at once?
I know there is a God,  and he loves each and every one of us with unconditional love. Part of this love sometimes are experiences we never want to go through. These experiences define us, and make us grow. Even though you leaving was by no means a positive experience, I believe it was meant to bring our family closer than I ever thought we could be. And in the end, each and everyone of us will get to be with you again someday.
There is a lot of time I spend in my life thinking about God. Everyone's trying to tell me that they think their religion is the only way that we can be together in heaven. I beg to disagree to all religions that say this. I believe that God would be proud of all the pathways we have found to get closer to him, whether you wear beautiful dresses to church, you wear Levi's, or even a turban on your head. Whether you read the bible three times a day, or three times a year. We have different ways of expressing our love to God. And your way was through the people you loved.
You've taught me a lesson Grandpa, we don't have to go to church every Sunday or read the scriptures to go to heaven, because I know your their now. Every day you put smiles on the seven kids that loved you most. You brought in a part of family that I don't think I could live without. You gave me childhood friendships that I still have
from birth to this day. You gave me three more aunts that I couldn't love more. In this process you kept us together as a family.
I know you've probably met God up there, and he is proud of you for being such a great man to the people that mean most to you. You left a place in my heart that will never fade. I will never ever get sick of "Grandma Nessa's House." When our fridge breaks down, I am going to remember you. Running across the catwalk will still be an adventure, and when we make the semi's honk their horns, I know that you will hear them from up there.

Thanks for bringing me here Grandpa, I Love You, and hope to see ya later.

Love your, Oreo Lovin',Bike Ridin',Top Ramen Eatin' Grandaughter

Race to the Finish

     This week and most of last week I have experienced and helped out (he knows who he is) with some pretty rough situations. I think there are always times in our life that force us to look up to the sky and ask "why me". Mentally, this has been something I have often wondered lately. "Why would God put us on this earth to struggle, why does he make life so hard on us sometimes when life is supposed to be a gift?" This thought surges throughout minds everyday, because there is always someone on this planet who is struggling to find a meaning in life.
      Our meaning in life is to finish our races and begin new ones.
     There is always that someone in that race that forgets to tie their shoe and feels the burn from their small mistake as they fall to the ground. Even some of the most advanced runners still forget that they can't wear their  brand new shoes to race the next day, as they  suffer the consequences of painful blisters along their toes. That Mexican food that your mom made last night, that doesn't sit well trying to finish a race. And there's always that jerk at the starting line that thinks he owns the road and tries to prod people out of his way, which can cause a domino effect of racers crumbling to the asphalt.
      It's how these incidents are dealt with that determines how we finish our race. Some fall at the beginning of the race, some at the middle, some fall right before the finish line. But it's not about how hard we fall, nor is it about "who saw us fall", it doesn't even matter where we fall. What determines our standing is how we recover. How much faster can you get up, and chase down the person in front of you. At times we fall, we break down in tears, we tell ourselves we can't do it. All this time we spend on the ground, do we realize the clock is still running?
     I ran a race today, and as I was coming up on my second mile, I watched one of my opponents step in a hole. It was a pretty decent sized hole, causing her ankle to roll one way, then roll again the other, resulting in a pretty painful injury. Her facial expressions went straight to pain, she tensed up, and she looked like she was about to cry. But one thing didn't change about the girl after she stepped in the hole, was she was still moving.
     Her steps became smaller and smaller as I began to catch up, but she didn't stop. Even if she slowed down to walking speed, she didn't stop. With every step we take, may it be a small step or a leap, we are moving forward. Moving forward is more beneficial than sitting still. With each step our finish line becomes closer it may take us longer to get there, but we will get there eventually if we keep taking steps. When we reach trials in our life, it's so easy to say "I am done, I wanna go home, I don't want to do this, why is this happening." Every time we fall, we get up stronger than we were before. God only puts these trials here to make us strong. He knows what we can endure, so he puts us to the test. A test no one wants to fail. When we fall, we can sit on the ground pouting and stewing about how much we hate life. Or we can stand up fast, shake it off and get that adrenaline pumping again.
   

We are not perfect, everyone falls sometime in their life, but don't be the person that stays down, be the one that stands up stronger and finishes the race.

Because our team got third the other day, it was a happy day for this chick.

Positives and Negatives

Today I have realized how much it means to have a positive attitude, not just for the people around you, but for yourself. The pursuit of happiness can never be accomplished when you can't keep a positive attitude. I believe that money by no means can but happiness. Like the car I got for my sixteenth birthday, that car means nothing if I don't have the people around me to share it with. Positive attitude goes farther back than just simply staying happy in the toughest of times, but finding ways to cancel out the negatives, by finding more positives. Its like a magnet that has electrons on one side, and neutrons on the other. When a positive charged side of the magnet touches a negative side, they cancel each other out and bind together. I have a very high belief that if your magnet is constantly flipped to its negative side and is only looking for the negative portions of problems, you will result in never finding happiness in your life. We spend all this time screaming and fighting with each other, but deep down do we remember that our only goal in this world is to be happy? At times our magnets become unbalanced, we think we are lifting heavier burdens than others. We tell ourselves we are unhappy lifting others weight, but the only person that determines that unhappiness is ourself. We may even be giving more positives than recieving, but its our minds that determine this. There is no manual on how to live your life, but if there was, what would be in it? Believe it or not, there are people on this planet who have more negative than you and I, but are still happier than both of us combined. The only thing logical that would be in that manual was happiness. Just to simply be happy. On the other hand, some people are constantly fixated on how they can have they least amount of negatives. Why aren't they more focused on how many positives they can produce to get rid of those negatives? Using this way of thinking, no one is perfect, everyone has negatives, but its what we do with those negatives that defines us. Are we going to try to perfect ourselves or just find more positive ways to make they.situation better?

Shoes

Mom,

I hate writing letters. I don’t want you to think that everything that I write in this letter is something I can’t say to your face, but I can tell you right now that’s not true.  So I have been thinking about some clever way to make this letter somewhat entertaining. But as you have mostly likely figured out by now, running has been on my on my mind quite frequently.  When I was running today, I was trying to find ways to compare running to life, and I had a thought. I know my thoughts are crazy, and sometimes extremely irrelevant, but bear with me with this one. I was trail running when I thought of this so, I am comparing it to trail running.

 As we are running on the trail of life, sometimes we come to a fork in the road, which causes us to choose one path or the other.  Most of the time while I am running on a trail, one of these paths will be harder or more uphill then the other. This can become a very complex decision for me and my two companions running with me. Because when you think about it, if we take that uphill trail, we will become stronger but it will be more of a challenge. But if we take the easier path, we won’t get stronger, but it will be easier. I think that sometimes in life we take the easier path because we are scared that we would fail on the other path or we are too tired to push harder. There have been times where my buddies and I took the way we thought was easiest, and we came to an extremely steep slope. At times running up hills like this got so hard; we would stop and take a breath. Sometimes our trials in life come when we think we are on the easiest path. And while we are on our easy path in life and we come to unexpected points where we have to stop to breathe, that’s when we notice the view from above and how grateful we are to have it.

Now comes your role in this, I compare my mom in my life as my shoes.  Shoes come in all shapes and sizes, and you use them for different purposes, just like moms. Our shoes protect our feet from the trail we call life. When you’re wearing your shoes, they don’t decide which path you take them on, instead, they tag along with you no matter what.  My shoes sometimes get caught on the rocks causing me to fall and gain more bruises to my legs. But every time I fell, it made me open my eyes and realize that I needed to pay attention to my path. It also becomes challenge when your shoes become untied, even more so during a race. But every time that my shoes became untied, I tied them a little tighter each time.

But what would running be without its shoes? What would my life be without you? Sometimes I want to say I hate you because you might give me some blisters along the way. But through every blister, bruise, and hard fall, I came out stronger than before. I know that sometimes I can be so mad at you, but how would I finish my race without you. When runners finish their race in first place no one says “It’s because of their cool shoes.” You don’t get enough recognition for what you do for me.  I need to remind myself more often of how grateful I should be to have you. Some runners on the other side of the world don’t have shoes. Some even have multiple pairs, but I am grateful for the pair I have today.

My pair of shoes is strong, they are durable, and make me stronger each step I take. They are fit just for me. And without them I don’t know where I would be. My shoes give me support no matter what path I decide to take.

I love you mom, I have loved you from day one. You are the best support system I have. You helped me not only follow my dreams, but chase them down. Sometimes our shoe laces become untied, and in some cases we trip and fall. But with every fight or disagreement we have, I take something new from it, we tighten our laces tighter than we have ever had them and move on. I know that there will come a day when I will go my separate ways. But I want you to know that I will never get rid of my running shoes, I will carry a piece of them in my heart forever. They will get older as I get older but I will always remember the memories I had with them, and the places they took me. You will always be in my heart, and don’t you ever forget how much I love you.

“Give a girl the right pair of shoes and she can conquer the world.” – Marilyn Monroe

REAL CHAMPIONS

 Last week I had the great opportunity to go to UtahState's cross country camp. I met some great people there and I also learned a lot about myself. I had 6 girls in the same dorm as me, they all had very different personalities, most from different teams, but we all got along very well. I went with Kaden, Ky, and Ryann, and it was always great to have them by my side. This camp was not easy, and there were many times that I had to dig down deeper and pick my head up and keep pushing. We had a few speakers that came to talk to us. And one really stuck out to me, he was one of the first to talk to us. By the time we got to him, we had just barely had dinner, and we were all very tired, and no one really cared to listen to him. I kept telling myself "stay awake Jerra, just stay awake." One of the girls at the camp was named Lucy. Lucy holds a state champion title, and she also holds a national title I believe (she runs a 4:35 mile.)

      The first thing that this particular speaker talked about was who a champion is. He asked us to shout out one word answers to what we thought a champion was. Words like determined, hardworking, stubborn, and committed came to my mind at first. As kid by kid replied their answer, they were all naming answers similar to mine. Finally one kid said "A champion on and off the track." When he said that, I didn't really put much thought to it, it was a topic that seemed pretty cliche to me. The speaker replied back to the kid "that's what I was looking for."The speaker continued talking, he mentioned that out of the dozens and dozens of athletes he coached, the athletes he remembers most weren't the state champions, they were the kids that raised their teammates up. He said that a state champion title means nothing, if you don't have the attitude for it off the track. As he continued his speech. out of the corner of my eye I saw Lucy, someone who I admired very deeply at the time. Lucy had her head laid on the counter, not even paying attention to what the speaker had to say. I looked around the whole room, and I also noticed that  ALL the runners that had done so well on the run that day, weren't even paying attention or were talking to their friends, not much respect on their part. As we continued on with the camp, I continued to notice the same things happen, the kids that weren't even that quick had the most respect for the coaches and their teammates. We got to one of the final workouts of the camp, called the Amazing Race. This was where we were split into teams to do certain tasks and find certain locations. I had four people on my team, three boys and two girls. One of these boys was named Dillon, Dillon was a very special kid. He had been the outcast for the whole camp, and he was by himself quite frequently. He also had some autism. As the race went on, we came in last for every event. There was nothing much we could do, as Dillon often times would get tired and start to slow down. Me and Kaden stayed back with Dillon and kept encouraging him, I wanted to at least be a champion off the track. We came up to our last event, and the coaches (being generous to the losing team) gave us a head start. We started off the last event running uphill as fast as we could, and Dillon was doing a great job. But out of the corner of my eye I could see the winning team starting to catch us. One of the boys on this winning team who everyone called Carlton, was a three time state champion in three distance events. As Carlton came up to Dillon, he did something that blew me away. He grabbed Dillon's team bandanna out of his pocket and threw it into the bushes. Right then and there is when I realized how little worth a state title is if you can't even treat those around you right. Real Champions are the kids who not only have a great running record, but are also an all around great person. I don't want to be remembered like Lucy and Carlton were. I don't care if I am remembered as the state champion, I want to be remembered as the girl who was nice to everyone. BEING A CHAMPION ON AND OFF THE FIELD.

The dorms were a party!!

The highlight of the trip had to be the amazing dinner and great chocolate milk :)

Sisters Before Misters

Lately I have put a lot of thought into the relationship that I have with sister. These past couple weeks we have spent a good amount of time together, it has made me realize how much she means to me. How grateful I am to have a sister that is so close in age with me, that we are practically best friends,even though we do fight occasionally. I know that lately she has been having a hard time having to share my attention with Kaden, which is something that is going to happen sooner or later with her too. As a sister, it is hard to have to split time between family and friends, but at the same time I feel like that is a part of growing up. I want to get out there and meet new people and become more independent, but there is a place in my heart that will just want to be home with my parents and siblings. As we get older, we are going to drift farther apart as we go our separate ways. But I never want to loose the relationship that I have with my sister. Even when we both have families in the future, I want to still have that same relationship that we have now. The same goes for the twins also. I need to constantly remind myself to keep cherishing that quality time that I do have with them, because before long it will become harder to find time like this. As much as I may think differently at times, sisters will always come before misters.

Love you Sis :)

I will always be here for you.

On a positive note....here are some pictures we have took this week :)

Life's not fair....

Today I learned a very important, yet a very very hard lesson. Life just isn't fair, plain and simple. It sucks sometimes!! It becomes even harder to juggle when there are so many things that make you happy. I have big dreams, I want to go far with what makes happy, and what I learned today, is that not everyone understands how much it means to me. They don't know the feeling I get when I can leave the world behind, to run, to just be happy. I don't need a phone in my hand or music in my ears, I need running shoes and a destination. This is my passion, this is my dream, I was living in it, wish I could keep living it, but LIFE ISN'T FAIR. That's what sucks about life, people don't understand, nor do they care. They can take away something that makes you happy in an instant and not feel a thing. They can take away everything you dreamed of being  all in one shot. I have a dream, its not small, and I knew from the beginning it wasn't going to be easy. I put in the work for it every day, and didn't regret any second of it, because I knew I could do it. I was going to have to make changes that would effect my lifestyle, but I still believe that when you want something, you go get it. People are going to try to stop you, tell you its not gonna work out, or you can't do it, but you have to follow your heart. I wish I had a happy ending to this rant, but I dont. I can't say I have accomplished what I have set my mind to. But I can tell you right now that I am not giving up.                                                                                                            

"You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tll you you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period."--Pursuit of Happiness Movie

My PAWPRINT Article on Anna

Anna Hansen looks just like your average 16 year old. She loves to play lacrosse, watch movies, read, and hang out with friends. To anyone who saw her wandering the halls, they would think nothing was troubling her, almost like a hero using a secret identity to fit in with the world. That is what Anna is, a hero in disguise.

What makes Anna this way, is that her sister is Kennedy, also known as “Fremont’s Angel”. Kennedy was diagnosed with Terminal Battens Disease on June 5, 2013, this means that Kennedy's life is slowly coming to an end as the disease becomes worse. Anna is 6 months older than Kennedy, making the sisters best friends. As Kennedy’s disease has gotten worse, it has affected Anna’s life.

“When I found out about her diagnosis, I looked at it like a movie, there are gonna be scenes that are gonna need to be changed or cut, but the character is still gonna die at the end” said

Anna. Kennedy’s disease wasn’t a problem until around when both the girls were in 4th grade, and they noticed a decline in her eyesight. Kennedy began resource in 5th grade, and also started practicing with a cane and braille. In Jr High she had trouble with stairs. And 9th grade is when things began to go downhill, where walking and talking got hard for her.

Anna, through all of this, has kept very positive, finding happiness with every chance she’s given. Simple things like her school and schedule underwent changes to fit to Kennedy’s needs. But as harsh and tragic Kennedy’s disease is becoming, it is also bringing blessings to Anna’s life. “Some of my prayers were answered after the diagnosis, Kennedy also made my social life stronger, she taught me to get out there and not be so shy” stated Anna. Heroes don’t need special powers or costumes, Anna has proved this, she is the hero behind the wheels that changes lives while she pushes her little sister in her wheelchair.

 

Pull Quote:By becoming the answer to someone’s prayer, we often find the answer to our own. --Dieter F. Uchtdorf

A heroic quality that Anna has is that she has been by Kennedy’s side through it all. She helped Kennedy get through school. Anna was there for Kennedy when she needed it, and that is what sisters are there for. If Kennedy is “Fremont’s Angel” than Anna for sure is Kennedy’s “Guardian Angel.” Terminal Battens Disease is Kennedy's villain, and Anna is the hero helping her sister fight her everyday battles.

People all over the world are finding joy in Kennedy’s story, finding peace and comfort, and answers to their prayers. There is a facebook page called “Kennedy’s HUGS” free for anyone who wants updates or inspiration on Kennedy’s story. - Heather Hansen

Life Lessons (:

I am going to tell you about my run today, it taught me a big life lesson that I will never forget. So my journey began as soon as I shut the door, I was so angry. I kept muttering “I can’t believe him,” or “little brat.” I was so angry my teeth got clenched so tight that I thought my jaw was going to break off ( I actually ran my fastest mile at this time). Anyways , I ran to the cemetery, and when I run to the cemetery, I always run around it. And as I was running around it, I saw Ryan’s grave. I don’t know what was going on with me, but something told me that I should go up and look at it, don’t ask me why, it just happened. I stood in front of his grave for a few minutes, just staring at it. You know I am kind of weird in that sense, I just decide to stop in the middle of an important run to read a grave. I started to read it, and as I read it, I started to cry. It wasn’t that usual type of cry because at the moment I was still trying to catch my breath, it was more of crying and still trying to breath. That moment became the turning point of my whole run. I sat there, and I didn’t think about Kaden, I didn’t think about running, the first thing that came to mind was Ethan. I read the back of Ryan’s grave, and on the back it says something along the lines of “Family is Forever.” That’s when the uncontrollable amount of tears began to stream their way out. His grave made me realize what I have to be thankful for. That in the end, we are a family, and we are going to stay that way the rest of our lives. That I shouldn’t be mad that my brother wants shoes just like mine, but I should be grateful that I still HAVE a brother that wants to be like me. I should be grateful that my brother is here, that I have a brother that I have such a good relationship with. I have a brother who loves Kaden more than I do, I have a brother that likes to run just like me. I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry, I have been really moody this past couple days and that’s probably why I have these really freaky breakdowns. I make mistakes, I make them all the time, growing up is not easy, and I am still trying to figure out how I am going to do it. Bear with me, I am trying!! Promise! No matter what stupid things I say or do,I will love you no matter what, and you’ll always be the best little brother out there. Love your Sis, Jerra

May angels lead you in....

Kennedy Hansen, one of my best friends, lost her battle to Terminal Juvenile Battens Disease a week ago from today. I always knew that this day was coming soon, but I thought she would have a little longer, her death came so quick and it made me realize how fast life can be taken from you. She taught me things that I will never forget.I believe that there are angels sent here from heaven to better our lives. I also believe that Ken was one of them. Kennedy expressed her love to people by hugging them. When I say hug, I don't mean a little 5 second hug, that's not a true Kennedy hug. When Kennedy hugs you she wraps her long arms around your body and  will just pull you in, she may not even let you go. I believe that Kennedy was sent here to teach some lessons to not just me, but other people too. Ken lived a normal life all up until 5th grade, which is when her sight declined, which was no big problem to her parents. But from then on, she slowly started to decline with her health. Her speech was slurred and she became blind. Her parents spent a lot of time at hospitals trying to find out what was wrong, and on June 5, 2013, she was diagnosed with Terminal Battens Disease. Her body was slowly declining, to the point where she wasn't going to make it. I became friends with Kennedy in 7th grade, she sat right next to me in my choir class. When I first met her, I didn't know that she was blind, I think I just looked past it because of the amazing girl she was. She would always comment on what I was wearing, most of the time it was my pants. She would tell me how cute I looked, and there were times where it made my day. And she began to do it every day. There was always that thought in the back of my mind that something was wrong with her, but I didn't quite know what, and I didn't care. About towards the end of my 7th grade year one of my friends informed me that she was blind. All the times she was commenting on my outfits, she couldn't even see them, but she still did her best to bring a smile to my face. As Kennedy's disease progressed, she became more and more selfless. Never, ever did I hear her complain, instead she reached out to others. She lived the rest of her life with thee biggest smile on her face. She could light up a room. I felt like her medicine was helping others, making them feel better. I will never forget her, and the impact she left on me. I love you Ken, save a spot for me up there.

Prom 2014

Prom this year was a success!! Had a great date, and had an amazing time:)